Jan 08 2016

Patreon Fluffery

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Patreon_Banner_Revised_highres

One of my goals with the new year has been to beef up my Patreon campaign a bit, as it was originally assembled in a fairly slapdash “This is good for a start and we’ll see how it goes!” way. To that end, I started poking around Patreon to find campaigns that were working well, ones that weren’t, and others in “my space” generally to look for best practices.

I was surprised (but pleased) to see that my campaign was actually pretty healthy compared to most– there are a depressing number of “no supporters, no pledges” campaigns out there. That said, there’s still plenty of room for improvement! Four-digit campaigns, while rare, are certainly out there, and many of them are comparable to mine in output and bennies, which gives me hope that I can get there myself!

So over the course of this week I have been working on updating, tweaking, and “fluffing” my Patreon campaign, including adding a new banner that showcases my art and trying to diversify both the goals and bennies, while being careful not to over-promise on things I couldn’t deliver.

I’m quite pleased with the results! But I’m also curious and eager for feedback and suggestions. Whattya think? I’d love to hear from you.

-The Gneech

Filed under : Gneechy Talk | 1 Comment »
Jan 08 2016

Fictionlet

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“So,” said Greg casually, “what did Zelda say when her would-be rescuer was zapped by a strength-draining ray and couldn’t pick up his sword?”

Brigid just looked at him, on the grounds that it was a no-win situation.

Greg grinned. “You are the weakest, Link!”

“Goodbye,” she said, and made for the next room.

-The Gneech

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Jan 06 2016

Awake at Dawn, Awake at Dawn

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I stayed up too late
There’s a buzzing in my brain
Oh why am I awake? Uuu-ugh
Why am I awake? Uuu-ugh

I can’t feel most of my face
I’m stumbling all around the place
Oh why am I awake? Uuu-ugh
Why am I awake? Uuu-ugh

The cats need feeding
Shut up, I’m up
Move it
Or I’ll step on you and then I might just
fall right on down the stairs

’cause the cats are gonna play play play play play
While my hair is going gray gray gray gray gray
At least I won’t be late late late late late
’cause I’m awake at dawn
awake at dawn

My back is gonna break break break break break
Give me some coffee cake cake cake cake cake, baby
At least I won’t be late late late late late
’cause I’m awake at dawn
awake at dawn

My glasses can’t be found
I hope that’s not them on the ground
What was that crunching sound? Uh ooh
What was that crunching sound? Uh ooh

Coffee’s in the microwave (in the microwave)
Gourmets might think that it’s a shame (it’s an awful shame)
So what? I’m a caffeine slave, mm-mmm
Yeah I’m a caffeine slave, mm-mmm

Give me some donuts
Right now or I’ll go nuts
If you think Bruce Banner’s grumpy then
all I’ll say is you ain’t seen grumpy yet

In bed I’d rather lay lay lay lay lay
But I gotta start my day day day day day
At least I won’t be late late late late late
’cause I’m awake at dawn
awake at dawn

This headache’s gonna stay stay stay stay stay
It’s not gonna go away way way way way
At least I won’t be late late late late late
’cause I’m awake at dawn
awake at dawn

Awake at dawn, awake at dawn, enh-enh
Awake at dawn, awake at dawn, enh-enh
Awake at dawn, awake at dawn, enh-enh
Awake at dawn, awake at dawn, oh-oh-oh

Hey-hey-hey!
Just think, while you’ve been groping around
because you’re trying to get ahead
you could have been snuggled up
in your! warm! bed!

My boss man
won’t be there ’til ten
I’m like, “Oh my God,”
but I’m still awake
And to the fella over there
with the rumpled bed hair,
I feel your pain, buddy
’cause I’m wide awake, wake, wake

Yeah
’cause the cats are gonna play play play play play
While my hair is going gray gray gray gray gray
At least I won’t be late late late late late
’cause I’m awake at dawn
awake at dawn

My back is gonna break break break break break
Give me some coffee cake cake cake cake cake
At least I won’t be late late late late late
’cause I’m awake at dawn
awake at dawn

Awake at dawn, awake at dawn, enh-enh
Awake at dawn, awake at dawn, enh-enh
Awake at dawn, awake at dawn, enh-enh, yeah
Awake at dawn, awake at dawn, enh-enh

Awake at dawn, awake at dawn, enh-enh
Awake at dawn, awake at dawn, why am I
Awake at dawn, awake at dawn, enh-enh
Awake at dawn, awake at dawn, oh-oh-oh-ooooooh

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