Archive for the ‘Brigid and Greg Fictionlets’ Category »
Fictionlet
“I hate fanfic,” said Brigid.
“Oh?” said Greg. “All of it?”
“Yes! And you know what I hate more than fanfic?”
“Um … more fanfic?”
“Slash!”
“Okay.”
“I hate fanfic, and I hate slash! I hate ‘em both!”
Greg smiled. “That Twilight Sparkle/Rainbow Dash story really got to you, didn’t it?” he said.
“Shut up!” said Brigid. “It was a beautiful story!”
“…that you hated.”
“Yes. Shut up.”
“So much for the heart of a rattlesnake,” said Greg.
-The Gneech
Fictionlet
Greg looked wistful. “Sometimes, when we touch? The honesty’s too much.” He shrugged. “But most of the time it’s not really an issue.”
“You touch me once and you’ll be pulling back bloody stumps,” Brigid replied.
“You two have the weirdest ‘straight Will and Grace’ thing going on ever,” said Alex.
-The Gneech
Fictionlet
It was quiet. Too quiet. Brigid knew it had to be coming. And so it was. Without even looking up from his magazine, Greg said, “Judge Reinhold.”
“What?” said Brigid.
“Judge Reinhold,” Greg said again.
“The Beverly Hills Cop guy?” said Brigid.
“I do seem to remember him being in at least one of those, now that you mention it,” said Greg. “I’d forgotten about that.”
A long, heavy silence hung over the room, like a stuffed whale suspended from the ceiling of a natural history museum.
“Okay, fine!” said Brigid. “I’m never going to finish this sandwich otherwise, so let’s just get it over with. What about Judge Reinhold?”
“Let’s see,” said Greg, and looked up at the ceiling, apparently trying to remember something. “He was born in Delaware, spent most of his childhood in Fredericksburg, Virginia, then moved to Florida in high school, and his first on-screen role was in the ’70s Wonder Woman TV series.”
“I can barely contain my excitement,” said Brigid.
“He was nominated for an Emmy,” said Greg.
“Really.”
“Well, I thought you might want to know.”
“I appreciate your concern. Now can I please go back to my sandwich?”
“Certainly, by all means,” said Greg. “Unless you’d like to hear about Corey Feldman.”
-The Gneech
Fictionlet
Alex stared at his screen; the e-mail was perfect.
“Dear Alex:” it started, even though nobody actually ever started an e-mail with ‘dear X.’ But somehow this e-mail wouldn’t have been right without it.
“Dear Alex: How can I put into words the crazy barrage of thoughts, ideas, and feelings going through me at this moment? How can I say in the cold blinking light of an e-mail something that’s burning in my heart?
“I might as well come out and say it, Alex: I love you. I’ve always loved you, almost from the first moment we met. It’s hard to believe it’s only been a couple of years, even though it seems so long ago now. I loved you even when I was wasting my time with him — I see that now, but I was blind to it before.
“I know it’s been hard on you all this time, and all I can say is that I am so sorry. But if you’ll let me, I’ll spend my life making it up to you.
“Hoping to hear from you soon, Julie.”
Alex read it over again just to be sure. Then he clicked the “send” button. Immediately, the e-mail he’d been dreaming of appeared in his inbox.
-The Gneech
Fictionlet
“I’ve been fighting a bad case of writer’s block,” Greg said. “It’s really frustrating … I’m having a hard time forcing myself to be productive because everything I’ve come up with is either boring or stupid.”
“Weird,” said Alex. “I’ve been fighting a bad case of working block — I’m having a hard time forcing myself to be productive because every job I’ve had has been boring and stupid.”
“Ah,” said Greg. “Er. Hmm. I think I prefer my problem to yours.”
“So do I!” said Alex.
-The Gneech
Fictionlet
“Oh, no,” said Greg. “I can’t believe it.”
“What?” said Brigid.
“Look at the seating arrangements. I’m going to be wedged between Treville and Uncle Bob for the whole bloody reception!”
“It’s only a couple of hours,” said Brigid.
“Ugh,” said Greg. “Just shoot me.”
“I thought you’d never ask!” said Brigid, producing a 9mm automatic from her coat pocket.
“What?” Greg managed to say, before she shot him dead on the spot.
THE END
