Aug 07 2013


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“Wait,” said Brigid. “You’re not writing another sequel to Retrograde Maneuvers? It’s your biggest success so far.”

“I know,” said Greg, “and I fully intend to go back to that, but this horror novel idea has really grabbed me, so to speak. Like Mary Shelley did with Frankenstein, I think I could really explore not just what means to be human, but how to–”

“When do they have sex?” said Brigid. “The marketers will need to know.”

“Uh, what?” said Greg.

“The vampire and the werewolf, when do they have sex?”

“You mean, like, with each other?” said Greg.

Brigid shifted her weight, switching into lecture mode. “I don’t know that much about literary fic, I realize, but I can teach you something about publishing horror. Where in the story the vampire and the werewolf have sex determines your genre, and in publishing, genre is everything. If it happens in act three, it’s ‘fantasy/horror.’ If it happens in act two, it’s ‘paranormal romance.'”

“There aren’t actually any vampires or werew–”

“If it’s acts one, two, and three, of course, it’s porn. Which honestly, is your best bet for sales. I can suggest some authors if you want to study their technique.”

“Yes, well,” said Greg. “You’ve certainly taught me something about publishing horror.”

“That’s what friends are for,” said Brigid.

-The Gneech

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