• 16 Tons (of Stuff In My Nose)

    (To the tune of “16 Tons” by Tennessee Ernie Ford…)

    You blow 16 tons of junk out your nose
    try to do it discreetly where it doesn’t show
    You blow 16 tons, and what happens then?
    You get out another tissue and do it again

    Sinusitis is a crap malady
    you have it every day but get no sympathy
    You blow 16 tons out your nose every day
    but it ain’t good for nothing, so you throw it away

    You blow 16 tons of junk out your nose
    try to do it discreetly where it doesn’t show
    You blow 16 tons, and what happens then?
    You get out another tissue and do it again

    If boogers were gold I’d be a rich man
    instead crusty dragons fill my garbage can
    If I had stock in Kleenex I could pay my own way
    ‘cos I use at least twelve boxes every day

    You blow 16 tons of junk out your nose
    try to do it discreetly where it doesn’t show
    You blow 16 tons, and what happens then?
    You get out another tissue and do it again

    Blowing out 16 tons, you’d think I’d lose weight
    The Sinusitis Diet man, sure would be great!
    When doomsday arrives, I’ll know how it goes:
    I’m going to blow the whole world right out through my nose

    You blow 16 tons of junk out your nose
    try to do it discreetly where it doesn’t show
    You blow 16 tons, and what happens then?
    You get out another tissue…
    …and you do it again!

    -The Gneech

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