• The Writer’s Block Hoedown

    (to a country-western twang)

    I want to write a story, I want to write a tale
    I want to see it published and get checks in the mail
    I wanna be the hottest thing that you have ever seen
    but all that I am doing, is staring at the screen!

    I’ve got a case of writer’s block, as you can plainly see
    I had it something awful now, since 2000-and-3!
    I’ve got character and setting, but I haven’t got a shot
    ’cause all these things are useless if I haven’t got a plot

    Nothing happens!
    Nothing happens!
    Nothing happens in my tale

    Nothing happens!
    Nothing happens!
    My story is a fail

    Perhaps I try a bit too hard, perhaps I should relax
    perhaps I oughta just write down a tale based on the facts
    Just give your guy a problem, the writing coaches say
    then figure out how his quirks will help him save the day

    But nothing happens!
    Nothing happens!
    Nothing happens in my tale

    Nothing happens!
    Nothing happens!
    My story is a fail

    It’s causing me some anguish, my lame attempts at art
    you can’t ever finish, what you never start
    But your muse will never flourish, when threatened by a gun
    so I’m gonna write a filk about it, and then call it done

    ’cause nothing happens!
    Nothing happens!
    Nothing happens in my tale

    Nothing happens!
    Nothing happens!
    My story is a fail!

    -The Gneech

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    1 Comments  

    • Aww 🙂 but at least you understand that the question is ‘what happens’, which puts you in the 99th percentile of internet writers already 😀