“My next book will be a non-fiction,” Greg said. “I’ve already got a contract and advance on the title alone.”

“Oh really!” said Brigid. “What is it?”

“The World Is Going to Hell, and It’s Your Fault: A Bestseller.”

“Um,” said Brigid.

“The subtitle is, If You’d Spanked Your Children, Obama Would Not Have Been Elected.”

Brigid just shook her head, finally managing to say, “…Wow. I assume you’ll be releasing this under a pseudonym.”

“Well naturally,” said Greg. “I’m also looking into an older, doughy guy to play me at book signings.”

“Of all the times I’ve wanted to kill you,” Brigid said, “this is the first time it was for the good of humanity.”

-The Gneech

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