Fictionlet
“Halloween, Halloween, the most wonderful time of the year!” Greg said in a happy sing-song as he swooped in with the mail. “Check it out, a retro-style actual paper catalog of Halloween costumes!”
“Wow, there’s a blast from the past,” said Brigid. “Lemme see.”
“I thought you hated Halloween,” said Greg, dropping the catalog into her lap.
“I do,” said Brigid. “I just like catalogs.” She opened it up and started flipping through it. “Ugh. No. Gah! Jeeze, this is awful. This isn’t Halloween at all!”
“Hmm?” said Greg. “What is it?”
“Halloween is supposed to be spooky. This crap is all just stupid! Gory rubber body parts, prop roadkill, yuck. And what’s with these costumes? ‘Sexy nurse.’ ‘Sexy devil girl.’ ‘Sexy vampire girl.'”
Greg sighed. “Ah. Yes, I do hate that.”
“‘Sexy witch,'” Brigid continued. “‘Sexy pirate girl.’ ‘Sexy maid.’ ‘Sexy prison inmate.’ ‘Sexy nun.'”
“Too bad they don’t have ‘sexy celibate monk,'” said Greg.
“Think again, buster,” said Brigid, and showed Greg a page.
“I hate what our culture has become,” Greg replied.
-The Gneech
