May 23 2005


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Up until that point, the book club meeting had been a great night, but now Greg was struck with a sinking feeling in his stomach that things were just going to get worse.

“Uhhrr, yes,” said the gawky adolescent who’d been monopolizing the conversation all night. “By the end I just know they’re going to break up in a month. She’s so shrill, I figure he’s gotta come to his senses, right?”

After listening to this kid try to impress everybody with useless factoids and brow-beat them with his cleverness all night, Greg just couldn’t take it any more. “Did you actually read Retrograde Manueuvers?” he asked. “They break up well before the end.”

“Oh,” said the kid. “Um … well…”

“Why did you even come to this meeting, if you hadn’t read my book?”

“I did read it! Well, I read part of it. I read Chapter Six.”

Greg blinked. “Chapter Six? Just Chapter Six?”

“Well, um … I was flipping through the book and I happened on the word ‘breasts,’ and…”

“So you read the chapter with the sex scene and none of the rest of the book.”

“I was busy!”

“Er, yes,” said Greg. “All right. Well, I’m going to get another coffee, if you want to skip ahead to the end ’til I get back.”

-The Gneech

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