Sep 09 2005


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“I must take issue,” Greg said, “with this casual bashing of anyone of the male persuasion. I realize that once upon a time it was all the vogue for men to stand around bemoaning the wickedness of woman, and that for some time now women have been enjoying getting some of their own back. I don’t begrudge that; in fact, I applaud it. However, I think we have reached the saturation point on this particular issue.”

“Oh you do, do you?” said Brigid. “Well, that’s just like a man.”

Greg ignored the comment and swept on. “The cliché that men are all inconsiderate, unperceptive babies who only care about jiggling flesh, beer, and the big game is just as detrimental as the idea that women are irrational gold-diggers who can’t do math and only care about shoes.”

“Lots of men are inconsiderate, unperceptive babies who only care about jiggling flesh, etc., etc.,” said Brigid.

“That’s as may be,” said Greg. “But not as many as pop culture would have you believe. And that’s not the point. The point is that we need to cultivate a better image than this. Not just for men, mind you … when it comes to the battle of the sexes, my inclination is to lay down my arms and say, ‘Can’t we all just get along?’ But we need to create an image to aspire to, for both men and women, to lift us up out of this postmodern funk.”

“And who do we model this image on?” asked Brigid. “You?”

“Of course not me,” said Greg. “I am a muddleheaded chump. I knew from early life that ‘muddleheaded chump’ was my vocation and I’ve devoted my life to being the best muddleheaded chump I could be. I was thinking of somebody like Da Vinci, or Thomas Jefferson, at least for men. For women, I don’t know, who would you consider the ideal?”

“Actually, I kinda like Da Vinci myself,” Brigid said.

“You can’t have Da Vinci, he was a man!”

“Says you! I’m taking Da Vinci, and let’s see you try to stop me!”

Greg shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Women!” he said.

-The Gneech

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