Dec 07 2010

You’re a Butthead, Mister Grinch

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You’re a butthead, Mister Grinch
You really are a dink
You have no social graces
And your breath quite frankly stinks, Mister Grinch
You have got to be the…
mother of all finks

You’re obnoxious, Mister Grinch
You’re an unappealing pratt
and the worst thing I can say is
that you still think you’re all that, Mister Grinch
If there was any justice, a streamroller would come along and…
whallop you flat

You’re diabolic, Mister Grinch
you’ve made a Faustian pact
and I would point out all its loopholes
if I didn’t have such tact, Mister Grinch
I wouldn’t have you on my friends list even if…
all my social media got hacked

-The Gneech

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Mar 07 2009

The Most Butt-Kickin’ Hobbit of Them All!

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o/`
In the middle of the Earth
in the land of the Shire
was born a scrappy little hobbit
who had a heart of fire
With a long pointy stick
and an aggro-grabbin’ yell
he gives The Boot to his enemies
and sends ‘em straight to hell, Oh!

Maedhroc!
Maedhroc Thornhollow!
Only three feet tall!
Maedhroc!
Maedhroc Thornhollow!
The most butt-kickin’ hobbit of them all!

Now hobbits are peace-lovin’
folk ya know
but sometimes there are monsters
and they’ve got to go
So Maedhroc hunkers down
and he chucks his spear
then he teaches all those goblins
’bout the Wages of Fear, Oh!

Maedhroc!
Maedhroc Thornhollow!
Only three feet tall!
Maedhroc!
Maedhroc Thornhollow!
The most butt-kickin’ hobbit of them all!

Well he battled with bandits!
He ambushed some trolls!
He riddled with Bilbo!
Some giants’ Lucky Stone he stole!
He chased down a Nazgul
beat up trees in Old Forest
Fought a giant turtle in a dead king’s tomb, Oh!

Maedhroc!
Maedhroc Thornhollow!
Only three feet tall!
Maedhroc!
Maedhroc Thornhollow!
The most butt-kickin’ hobbit of them all!
o/`

-The Gneech, with apologies to Leonard Nimoy

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